TRUST

"Trust thyself; every heart vibrates to that iron string.'"

 - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Once you learn to listen to your messages, you then move to the next, deeper level of growth; trusting those messages. You learn the lesson of trust when you take a leap of faith and believe that your inner knowing is guiding you toward your greater good. Trust is the attunement of your instincts to know who and what is in your best interest, so that you may rely absolutely on the validity of your messages.

The heart of my Inner Negotiation Workshop is encouraging participants to trust their messages. Very often this creates fear in them, as they cannot comprehend that it is safe within the confines of the workshop to act upon and trust whatever message they are receiving. Once they relax into it and trust, however, incredible things happen. I have seen a normally reserved corporate banker wailing away on an electric guitar. I have watched Sari, a model from New York, trust her message that she needed to let out a howl right then and there, even though she had no idea why.Howl she did, and LOUDLY. By trusting that message, Sari got in touch with a long-lost need within her to be out in nature. She kept her job in New York but now makes sure to spend adequate time out in the woods, where she feels connected and centered.

We are taught throughout our lives not to trust ourselves. Children are consistently told to do things their parents' way, "because they said so." The media trains us to look outside ourselves - in products, entertainment, or gurus - for the answers. Even most modern schooling does not encourage self-reliant thinking. We are bombarded with messages from every angle that tell us that we cannot trust our own inner directives.

During Emily's childhood, there were times when people told her that her feelings were inappropriate for a given situation. For example, on her twelfth birthday Emily was having a sad day and made no attempt to hide her feelings. Her mother reprimanded her with words like, " You should be happy at your own party. You should smile and have a wonderful day." Another time, the day Emily's grandmother passed away, Emily's mother scolded her for playing in the garden. " Stop all that laughter. Don't you know someone's died? You're supposed to be mourning."

At these and other times, Emily was criticized for being herself and expressing spontaneous feelings. Each time this happened, she felt confused, out of sync with events around her, and unable to trust her own emotions. As she grew to adulthood, she carried this self-doubt with her. With every decision she faced, she would ask other people's opinions before taking action. When someone asked her a question, she often had to answer, "I don't know," and then ask friends what they would say. Emily's major life lesson was to learn to trust her feelings, her intuition, and her choices.

At age thirty-two, Emily wanted to start a business creating and selling doll-making kits through mail order. She'd been sewing all her life, had made dozens of dolls for friends, and was excited about turning her hobby into a business.

But family and friends were afraid for Emily. The capital investment would be considerable, she had no business experience, and there were no guarantees that the doll kits would actually sell. As more friends expressed doubts, Emily began to waver. She started talking about returning to school for another degree instead. That's when a freind suggested to Emily that she see me.

After talking over her business idea and all the fears and doubts around it, I asked Emily, "Putting aside the practical considerations, and without regard for the outcome, if you could do anything in the world what would it be?"

Without hesitating a second, Emily answered, "Make my doll kits and sell them."

I sat back in my seat, looked at her with amazement,and said, "That was as clear as anything I have ever heard." Emily had even surprised herself with the clarity of her answer.

When I asked her what stood in the way of moving ahead, she confessed, "I've never done anything that my friends and family disapproved of."

There was silence in the room. "How does it feel to consider the possiblity?"

"Scary!"

"It sounds as if this is about self-trust," I suggested. "Am I right in assuming that you need to really trust yourself to take this risk?"

She stared at the floor for a long time before answering. "You're right on target. I don't know if I have enough belief in myself to go forward with no one behind me."

I had opened a door and given Emily the choice of walking through alone. She decided to go for it. Her business succeeded beyond her wildest dreams, and she did get the support of her family and friends once she demonstrated her commitment to herself.

As Emily's story illustrates, trusting your instincts and your messages is an essential step in your spiritual growth, as they are the road map for your path. They are what lead you to your lessons, and you must learn to trust them if you are to learn all that you need in order to fulfill your special purpose.

You can begin to learn to trust your message by starting with the small ones. For example, tune in and trust the simple messages like "Call your mother," or "Buy that dress," as a way to build your confidence in your inner radar. Recalling times in the past that trusting your instincts led you to the right course of action will also help. Whenever I receive a message from my inner source that sounds preposterous, I remember my "go stand on the corner" story and trust that I would only lead myself into circumstances that were for the highest good.