FAIRNESS

" I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet." - Unknown

Our sense of fairness is the expectation of equity -- the assumption that all things are equal and that justice will always prevail. Life is not, in fact, fair, and you may indeed have a more difficult life path than others around you, deserved or not. Everyone's circumstances are unique, and everyone needs to handle his or her own circumstances differently.

As you work toward aligning yourself with your own individual truth, you will be required to move out of the complaining phase of " it's not fair," if you want to move toward serenity. Focusing on the unfairness of circumstances keeps you comparing yourself with others rather than appreciating your own special uniqueness. You miss out on learning your individual lessons by distracting yourself with feelings of bitterness and resentment.

Take, for example, Jackie and Kirsten, two sisters who are miles apart on the traditional beauty scale. Jackie was a tall, statuesque brunette with startling blue eyes, a graceful demeanor, and an elegant sense of style. She was so striking that people on the street would often stare as she passed by, certain that she was a movie star.

Kirsten, on the other hand, fit the classic definition of a tomboy. She was compact and plain-looking and rarely bothered with fashion or makeup. No one would ever mistake Kirsten for a movie star.

Jackie had been married twice, Kirsten never. Jackie always had men calling to ask for dates; Kirsten, far less frequently. Though no one would expect it judging from Kirsten's tough exterior, she spent a lot of her time comparing herself to her old sister, trapped in Jackie's shadow. She belabored the unfairness of the allotment of genes between Jackie and herself.

It was not until Kirsten finally sat down to make a list of all the things she was good at, and all the things that made her special, that she was able to see her own unique gifts and cease dwelling on the comparison with Jackie. She realized that her natural athletic ability was a true talent in which she could revel and excel, and that she had a gift for supporting those around her. Even though she acknowledged she would probably never turn heads the way Jackie did, she admitted many things she appreciated about her physical form and was delighted to the see the list was quite long. Kirsten's lesson was to learn that just because she perceived something as unfair did not mean she had to wallow in the apparent injustice of it.

What perception of unfairness holds you back?